Class Act

As of this past Monday, I am now in the throes of two.
Count them: one . . . two online classes.

What does this mean for me?

That I have options, of course.

If I chose to avoid haus work, I can throw myself into anatomy diagrams.

It also means that if I want to avoid school work, I can become more enthusiastic about our toilets.

See? It's a win-win situation.

Except for when I want to avoid both & crash in front of 3 weeks' worth of DVR'd Medium.

And, even that looks like a win to me.

It's all skittles & rainbows until I consider the nitty-gritty details of the class. Although it is online, it's from a local community college & that means that most of my virtual classmates are in the NoVA area. Meaning I could run into these people at any given time.

Meaning, I have to be careful what I say & write.

My speciality.

Anyway, our first "assignment" was to introduce ourselves in an open forum.
So I did:

Hi, my name is HausFrau. This is my first ever community college class (!!). I am a wife & a mother. And, I am not gainfully employed. Nor have I been for 4 years. I am hoping to turn my life around with this one community college class. Gosh, I sure hope I can stay on top of the course content.

OK, so that's not what I really said.

Hi, my name is Savvy & OMG! I can not believe I am paying out-of-state tuition (to the tune of $1100) to take a flippin' community college class for a course that I am certified to teach! I am totally here against my will & had best be getting a A out of the deal.

OK, I didn't quite say that either.

I really did the whole blah, blah, blah thing. Just moved to NoVA, getting necessary pre-requisites out of the way. Trying to re-purpose, re-career. Tired of the toilets & crappy pay.

And, then I read what some of my fellow classmates wrote. There were several in my same boat: mid-life career crisis, retiring from the military, second career, etc.

Then, there were the others.

** Hi, I'm __ (fill in the blank with any super popular name for babies born in 1989). I'm 19, but I will be 20 (OMG!!) next month. I was attending ____ (fill in the blank with any Virginia University) but that wasn't working out so well what with the Frat parties & all. I moved back home & am now taking community college classes. I am so excited & nervous about this class like, my parents actually expect me to pass. Wow! This class looks really hard. You mean we have to memorize all the body parts?!

** Hi, it's Miss 1989 - again. OMG! I'm still stressing about this class. Does anyone want to start a study group?

** Hi, Miss 1989, I'd love to be in the study group. Email me the details: BornIn1990@NoVA.com

** Oh, I'd love to join the study group. Keep me posted. StillWearingDiapersIn1991@NoVA.com

** Hey, I'm game. Let me know & I'll have my husband keep the baby. SeniorClass98@NoVA.com

** Hi, all. I could sure use a study group. I'm in.
RetireArmy2010@NoVA.com

** OK, esteemed colleagues - especially those of you over the age of 21. When you say study group, do you mean the kind where you actually show up with textbooks, diagrams, notes & discuss possible test questions?
If so, I'll have to take a rain check.

Or, do you mean study group as in margaritas & appetizers in Old Towne?
If so, count me in.

And, make mine a double.
SavvyHausFrau@aol.com

Miss Fit

(Excuse for being MIA: Let me just put it this way - I'm 2.5 weeks into my Food Nazi class, I'm one chapter away from the midterm & I have a 100 average.)

And, I'm still not fitting in with the locals. As a matter of fact, I usually feel like that Sesame Street segment - which one doesn't belong, which one is not like the others? No doubt, I'd be the one wearing a tank top & shorts while the others are bundled up in winter gear.

I took time out last week to pick MiniMe up from school & hung out on the playground afterwards. It's just easier to sit there reading a book (a real book, not some15 lb textbook) than to come home to MiniMe & boredom.

So there I sat reading my book, which admittedly is a bit on the geeky side, but chit-chat & offers of Happy Hour later are either few & far between, or sadly, non-existent.

Did I mention that I was sitting on a bench next to a Dad who was also reading & not watching his 3-year old go skinny dipping in the mud hole on the baseball field, but who am I to judge? He was really into his super thick book (complete with frowny creases between his eyes) when a Mrs. came over to chit-chat with him.

I know. But, who am I to judge?

Anyway, they promptly interrupted my reading (complete with giggling & preemptive leg-crossing, just in case) to discuss what he was reading. They droned on & on about the excitement of history, especially the primary & secondary causes of the American Revolution. Then DadDude said he had another book that he started - the book's focus centered around the primary & secondary causes of WWII & the events leading up to the first bullet being fired. But he only started that book. Didn't finish it because he thought it might be more appropriate as a Beach Book.

Hey, I almost started liking the guy (even though he was distracting me from my reading & his daughter was still vastly unsupervised & up to her eyeballs in mud) because I thought he was being sarcastic. Yep, that WWII book was 1500 pages & way too exciting for just an ordinary day at the playground. It's like a page-party between the covers. I'll save it for my vaca on the beach down in South Carolina. It'll be light & fun (& funny) in a breezy, sandy, sunny kind of way. You know how Hitler & his homies can be! LOL

No such luck. He was serious & went droning on about why he was saving the book for the beach . . . it was really fascinating & thought-provoking . . .

There I sat, being way less geeky than originally accused, hiding the cover of my rather thin-ish book. The PMS Murder by Laura Levine.

Well, at least my child wasn't role-playing a bimbo mud wrestler.

Not today, anyway.

As if the Book Incident wasn't bad enough, you should see the inside of MiniMe's backpack:



Yep, that's what you think it is. The unsophisticated solution for anything that needs a solution. I'm just too cheap & lazy to hunt down a new backpack with just over a month left of school. In my defense, this is the inside of the backpack. I do draw the line a visible duct tape. I wouldn't want to appear trashy or anything. Especially considering my choice of recreational reading material.

And, I saved the best for last. Anyone care to guess?

Happy Birthday You-Know-What to Man!

Who: use your imagination
Where: in the Rockin'Bauer Biergarten
When: 29 April some plain ol' day last month
What: attempting to work the grill for the first time after the move
Why: Only God knows for sure
How: MiniMe was in charge of taking Man's Festivus pictures for the scrapbook

I can see where this next year might be a weeny bit challenging for me. The question remains . . do I even bother? Do I stand a chance?

I bet the all NoVA Natives make wise book choices, buy their kids new backpacks & take face pictures for birthdays. And, I'm just not sure I can compete with that.