Be Careful What You Ask For

For those of you who have been following me on Savvy, you know that in order to be blog-worthy, a story must possess a little pizazz. Or a lot, depending on the day. The run-of-the-mill, blah, blah, blah reports of mundane daily activities (not that there are many around the Haus in the first place) just don't inspire me to write in complete (& often run-on) sentences.

That's why I was a bit surprised when my favorite 17 year old friend Ya-Ya (Hi Olivia!) requested to be a guest star on the blog. Seriously? Did your mother let you read Tampon Woman? Public humiliation around here knows no limit.

But, she asked so nicely (pretty please with a cherry on top) & she did fly all the way from Alamo City to the Haus for a quick visit, so how could I possibly refuse?

I was planning on a very rare & vanilla blog publication. This is Ya-Ya. She is normal. So are her parents to the best of my knowledge (Hi Dave & Jenn). They came to visit. Ya-Ya attended Summer Seminar at the Naval Academy where all the eye candy in uniform just about gave me perimenopausal hot flashes. They flew back to Texas. The End.

As it turned out, these bland thoughts were absolutely unnecessary. All the adults (who should have known better) agreed that we would all pile into the Pilot for a road trip out to Annapolis to drop Ya-Ya off at the campus.

I know. I know.

But, if you knowingly & willingly agree to go on a Rockin'Bauer RoadTrip (no matter how short) you almost deserve any drama that comes your way. Once I realized my normal friends were riding with us, I whipped out the camera to document. To document what . . . I wasn't quite sure, but I knew it would be something. We don't call me HausFrau for nothing.

This is Ya-Ya, JayCee & DeeCee (& MiniMe)
right before we all squeezed into the ManMobile & headed out to Annapolis.

And, this is MiniMe about 15-20 minutes into our trip & just across the state line. Yep, she's feeling pukey & we are using to plastic bag from the ManMobile owner's manual just in case. Man frantically looks for a place to pull over because . . . well, we've done this before & it ain't pretty.

Soon Man (with DeeCee as co-pilot) find this exit off the Capitol Beltway. We take it and begin the search for some nice place to either vomit or suck up some fresh air and push past the nausea.

Note that the exit is numbered 13. Yeah, someone should have been paying attention to that wee bit of visual foreshadowing. Also make a big, fat note that if you ever need to vomit or suck air while in the national capitol area, drive as fast & far as you can away from this exit. And let me tell you why . . .

Because this was this best place we found for dealing with carsickness. And, this is a dirty port-a-potty at a Shell station. Which anyone of the female persuasion would no doubt refuse to use. Even for puking. Notice that we were aiming for the grass.

I'm not sure who snapped this picture (perhaps Ya-Ya who had to be regretting her blog request by now) but while this picture was being taken . . .

Are you ready for this?

An undercover police officer came out of undercoverness & flashed his badge at Man & JayCee. According to my best second-hand sources of info, the conservation went something like this:

Police Officer: Uh, do you people know where you are?

JayCee: Sure, we have the GPS. Just taking a little pit stop because the little one was carsick.

Police Officer: Uh, no. You obviously don't know where you are. You need to get into the rather expensive, new looking, totally middle class SUV and get out of here. Now. And, take your 4 cell phones, 2 Blackberries, GPS, 2 iPods and Leapster with you. You are a carjacking, theft and God-only-knows-what-else just waiting to happen.

JayCee: But the little one needs to vomit.

Police Officer: Let her throw up in the vehicle. It's better that way.

Man: Uh, Savvy, we are leaving. Now.

Me: But . . .

Man, JayCee, DeeCee & Police Officer: NOW!

Yep, it happened just like that. Apparently, "just across the state line" means that you are no longer in the most affluent county in the USA & even if you stop outside the major city loop, you need to beware.

Who knew?

In Texas, if you pull over outside the loop, you are usually good to go. You might encounter few RedNecks, but they are mostly harmless.

But, guess what? Maryland isn't Texas. And, we now have a new HausRule: We don't stop in Maryland for anything. Ever. Need to pee? Go in the car seat. It's better that way! Hungry? You won't starve before Virginia. Feeling nauseous? Too bad . . .










Hey JayCee, I knew I said that I would delete these awful pictures that MiniMe snapped of us (honestly, that child could probably make Zach Efron look like a dork!) but I did fuzz out some of the reality & left only what I consider to be our opinion of what I am now calling OPERATION: It's Better to Vomit in the Car.

We did eventually make it to the Academy & you can see the shear joy on Ya-Ya's face. I'm not sure if it was the excitement of seeing all the Hotties in Uniform or extreme gratefulness that she actually arrived in one piece. Praise God! Hallelujah! Either way, Ya-Ya, you rock & this publication is dedicated to you!

DeeCee & JayCee seem to also be happy to have survived the pit stop at Exit #13.

As for us Rockin'Bauers, it was just another blah, blah, blah, vanilla, happens everyday, run-of-the-mill adventure. DeeCee snapped this picture of us for the family history books. Hey y'all, remember that time when . . . ?

I couldn't help but notice that the picture is framed so that the torpedo is aiming straight for my head. Yep, all continues to be Savvy in my world. It's what I do best.