Dear HausFrau:
After reading your recent publication Batteries Not Included, I must say that Tip #23 really spoke to me. Well, now that I think about it, screamed might actually be a better description. You see, much like the mysterious Frau portrayed in the artilce, I have a particular battery operated . . . uh, thing . . . that has gone MIA.
Yeah, I know. Normally, this would be no big deal I mean, it's not like my husband is deployed or anything but we are PCSing soon & my preference is not to end up as the perfect bad example in a future HausFrau Handbook.
And . . . I have look here:
And, I've looked here. Twice.
Oh, where? Oh, where? I have been tearing my Haus apart in a 3-day frenzy attempting to local the darn thing. Just when I think I have another bright idea of where it might be, I come up empty handed. Again & again & again.
Signed, ~Desperate HausFrau in Europe
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Dear Desperate (a completely anonymous fellow HausFrau in Europe whom I am certain I do not know in real life):
Not to worry, girlfriend. These things do happen & if so, you will live to tell about it (oh, please let me be the first to know!). My first recommendation is to take a deep breath & c-a-l-m d-o-w-n.
My SuperSavvy Readers (please make suggestions in the comment box) and I will help you brainstorm about where to look next. Have you looked:
- in the kitchen gadget drawer?
- the kids' toy box?
- your Man's tool box?
- desk drawer?
- behind the washing machine?
- under the couch?
- in the Halloween decoration box?
If the object of our discussion continues to remain MIA, I recommend confronting your fears & insecurities head on. When your movers show up, give them all a firm hand shake & introduce yourself (& your Man). Definitely introduce your Man & have him present for the following conservation with the Mover Dudes (just for giggles, it's really nothing that needs a witness):
Hey, Mover Dudes. Listen. I misplaced a really big purple rabbit shaped vibrator a few months back & can't find it although I've looked & looked & looked. As you pack up all my worldly possessions, can you pretty please be on the look out for it? I really don't want to know if you find it or not, but it would be super-dee-duper if you could remove the four size D batteries before you pack it up & throw it into my sock drawer. I'm trying to avoid any future embarrassing situations. Muchas Gracia! You guys are the bestest. Mwah!
We are all anxiously awaiting the final outcome. Remember, we thrive off dysfunction & humor so we will all be sorely disappointed if you find it in your sock drawer.
Thanks for Reading! ~HausFrau
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5 savvy comments:
Between the mattress and box springs.
That was my guess...however, you might want to check the pockets in your luggage, b/c sometimes DH decides you need to take that with you when you travel on an airplane to New Orleans and it goes through checked baggage....only after you get to the hotel do you find it in the suitcase and are mortified b/c you know everyone saw that big purple thing on the xray monitor...really, is there not enough excitement in New Orleans as it is!!!!!
All I have to say is always remember to remove the darn scarves you left tied around the headboard posts - if you get my drift - before the movers arrive. They will laugh in your face over that one.
I am SO not putting my name on this one. :)
Mama Fry knows all about battery operated toys. Rumor has it that she's even left instructions with a friend that in the event of her untimely passing, that friend should- rather than cry and grieve like others- first go to Mama's house and remove all her toys before Mama's mama starts going through her things.
Of couse, I'm stopping at WalMart first to buy a giant pair of rubber gloves. Ewwwwwwwww.....
I would do the same for any of you! No time for grieving, get to the house and clean out all the toys chest (and I am not talking about your childrens)...what are girlfriends for if you can't give them this one small assignment if you kill over!
oh, and by the way, I do purchase the cleanser that is offered at those parties and use it as directed!!!
So, to all of you who need a good friend to take care of this if the situation should occur, please email me with your address, alarm codes and instructions to find all of your goodies and I will be happy to discard all such toys...oh yeah, that's what started all this in the first place...I can't find them if you don't know where they are!!!! LMAO
and I am not afraid to post my name!!!
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