B All That You Can B

As you all know, we upped & moved to Northern Virginia earlier this year. What you may not know is that most of the time I either feel as out of place as the HillBillies in Beverly.

Or, atheist at a pentecostal tent revival.

I won't go into long drawn out examples of how a little hair color & make-up would go a long ways out here in the 'burbs. Nor will I complain too much about living in an ultra-conservative neighborhood.

Yes, MiniMe watches Hannah Montana & SpongeBob (totally hanging my head in shame). Let me tell ya folks, that puts me smack-dab at the bottom of the neighborhood Bad Parent Heap.

Perhaps it's because I allowed Laze-E to watch PG-13 movies before she actually turned 13 that her report card showed up today looking like a big hive of buzzing bees.

Actually, she did have one lone A.

In PE, of all things. Which is a marked improvement over the Big Fat F that she managed last year. I suppose I should celebrate even the small victories that come along, right?

Perhaps, Laze-E's report card would have been her usual mix of A's & B's if the standards around here were typical of the rest of the world. But, no. We live in the Land of the Six-Point Grading System.

Want an A?

Better get a 94 or higher.

Sorry Sweetie, advanced courses don't count extra.

That's right, my child didn't stand a chance. The 92.8 that she managed in Honors English showed up on her report card as a B+.

Remember, we aren't from around these parts & we watch whatever comes on Disney or Nick without regard to appropriateness or obvious educational benefits. So, when we are happy with a such a grade, it just underscores our mediocrity.

We (read: Laze-E) might not be pulling down straight A's around here, but we (read: me & my savvy readers) are laughing hysterically at this week's winner of

HausFrau's Situational Irony Award.

Laze-E had Career Day at school today & came home all bummed out that she didn't get into the Papa John's seminar. Not because flinging dough is her career ambition, but they were offering free pizza for the participants.

Did you catch that? Our so-fiss-to-cated neighbors & their brilliant kids learned all about a career at a cookie-cutter, national chain pizza joint.

Can I get a big belly laugh from anyone?

I don't know about you, but where I come from (howdy to all my amigos down in the LoneStar state!), we might give you more opportunity to bring home an A (like 89.5-100 if HausFrau is your teacher), making it less prestigious. But, we know how to round up doctors, lawyers & military servicemembers to show up for Career Day.

Of course, we can also round up a few rednecks & topless waitresses. I guess it depends on exactly what kind of career day you want to have.

And, what student population you wish to target.

Yep, my friends. This is Savvy's Dad. His cover story is that he was in a drama production for a community fundraiser. He was the gay cowboy.

Because that's realistic for Texas . . .

I don't know if I am buying that story. I tend to believe it was Career Day at some nameless high school west of Ft. Worth.