Number Crunching

In honor of my math teacher friends (Hi, Jen! Hi, Laura!) let's have a little pop quiz, shall we? See if you can keep up with the numbers. The complete version of this word problem can be found here at AOL's Strange But True News.

Given:

26 teen girls who happen to be cheerleaders

14 ≤ age of girls ≥ 17

50% of available neurons working at any given time

one elevator, volumetric dimensions unknown

four floors

one birdbrained dare double-dog dare idea

a few panicked cell phone calls to 911

1 girl taken to the hospital

2 girls treated at the scene

25 minutes to extricate/resuce all girls

1 elevator repairman


Using only the given information, calculate the following:

The number of police & firefighters who responded to this prank emergency.

The final bill to the tax payers for services rendered.

Number of parents actually annoyed with their daughter.

The final cost of repairing the elevator door, including parts & labor.

Number of cell phone calls made within the first 30 & 60 minutes after the crisis.

Number of text messages sent within the first 30 & 60 minutes.

Number of girls who needed to pee (& hold it -- should've thought about that ahead of time) while stuck on the elevator.

Number of tears cried.

Number of girls who learned their lesson (& how to read maximum occupancy signs and calculate accordingly, both by number of people & weight limit).

Number of HausFrau's readers who are currently making new Haus Rules about elevators.

Extra Credit (+6 points), and yes, spelling counts.

Give me an . . . S
Give me a . . . T
Give me a . . . U
Give me a . . . P
Give me an . . . I
Give me a . . . D

What's that spell?