Library Lady & the Info Fair

* * * * * * * * * * * INVITATION * * * * * * * * * * *

You are cordially invites you to attend the
Champagne Brunch
to celebrate the opening of the
2008 Information Fair

Date: Friday, September 12, 2008
Time: 0945 – 1045
Place: Star Spangled Bar Lounge
Address: Leuvensesteenweg Street Parkway Lane Road Blvd
Just Outside the Capital City Limit Sign, Belgium

********* RSVP by 14 August 2008 ********

Name(s) : HausFrau Rockin'Bauer
Representing (name of your organization): The Library
XX Will attend
__ Cannot attend

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Hello. You've reached the Rockin'Bauer residence. We are unavailable to answer the phone right now. Please leave a message at the beep.

(tone)

Hello, Frau, it's the Info Fair Volunteer Lady. It's about 1930 Thursday Night. I called to tell you that parking is going to be a bitch tomorrow at the Info Fair. You might want to get there early. Also, you might want to bring in Freakish My Size Barbie Rosie. LOL HaHaHa! Just kidding. Maybe just some toys from home to use for table decorations. Have a good evening. See you tomorrow.

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From the Desk of HausFrau

Don't Forget:

• pens
• sign-up sheets
• give-aways: bookmarks, lollipops, books, stickers
• for display: library books, Rosie
• hand-outs & flyers
• diet Pepsi
• minty fresh gum
• figure out something for dinner
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When life hands you lemons a juice box for kids make lemonade a mimosa.

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Random comments overheard at the Info Fair:

Whoa! That freaked me out.

Hey, I like your doll.

Did you ever find her any knickers?

Wow! She has really blue eyeshadow eyes.

Can she read?

Huh? Is that a Barbie? Uh . . . she's . . . uh . . . exotic . . . ?

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Dear Story Time LΔdy:

Thank you for the book & lolliÞoÞ today. I like the book & the lolliÞoÞ. My mom is making me write a Thank You note for the book & lolliÞoÞ. Here's my Thank You note for the book & lolliÞo0Þ.
~ Charlie
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Dear Liberry Γady:

I like your Barbie. She is very pretty. My MOM said that we couldn't buy her at the Thrift Shop because it costed like a thousand-huИdred-fifty-eleven-teen dollars, or something. My daddy doesn't make that much money. You must be rich.
~Susie

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Hi Miss HausFrau:

I have a dog Иamed Roy. Do you have a dog named Яoy? Do you have a dooK book about a Dog named Roy? I would like for you to read a book about a dog name Roy.
~Billy

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Dear MiniMe's Mom:

I DreW a picturЭ for you.
~Jane

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Dear Reading Lady:

Hi. How are you? I am fiИe.
~Bobby

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Hello Mrs. Яockin'BaueR:

I really likEed my lollipop today but my M0M did not. It got stuck to the car carpet. Next time can you bring chocolate chip cookies? I like cHC chocolate chip cookies. My mom said no more lollipops for me ! !
~Jenny Lynn

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Hi Book Lady:

I have been really, really, really good this year. Sometimes it's hard. I would like for you to bring me a Pony. I know it will fit on your sleigh. Please. I promise to be good next year too. My Dad said NO. My MOM said ask dAd.
~Penny
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The person you are calling -- Man Rockin'Bauer -- is either unavailable to take your call or has traveled outside the service area. Press 5 to leave a message or just begin speaking at the tone.

(tone)

Hi Babe! I'm beat & definitely too tired to cook. Can you see if the Shoppette has any frozen pizza? The girls want cheese. I was going to buy the pizza before I left post but my hands were full. Besides on my way down the elevator two really weird guys were giving me the creeps. Can you check with Security & see if they were authorized to be on-post? Love you. Mwah!

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Hello. You've reached the Rockin'Bauer residence. We are unavailable to answer the phone right now. Please leave a message at the beep.

(tone)

Hey, Frau. It's the Info Fair Volunteer Lady Person, again. Seriously, I was joking about bringing Freakish My Size Barbie Rosie. Did you not hear my LOLing?

By the way, I'm giving you a heads up: You really freaked out two guys in the elevator on the way to your car this afternoon. They thought you had a real child in that big ol' blue Ikea bag. They reported you to the military police & security guards. Can you remember which guard searched your car this morning & saw Freakish My Size Barbie Rosie in the trunk? He'll vouch for you. Not to worry. I'm sure it's nothing . . .