No Shoes, No Service

HausFrau's Checklist for Road Trips:

keys to the appropriate vehicle
sufficient amount of gas in the tank
prepaid gas card
gas ration card to buy another prepaid gas card
swiffer duster for swiping the dashboard
blue barf bags
booster seat
pillow & blanket (for everyone who thinks they might need a pillow & blanket)
military ID card
Belgian ID card
NATO ID card
TX driver's license
NATO driver's license
US Army Europe driver's license
International driver's license, if applicable
US $$ cash
Euros cash
VISA credit/debit card
passports (because you just never know)
go-cup of iced tea
juice box
4 water bottles
2 diet Cokes
12-pack of diet Mt. Dew
3 - Belgian cell phones, fully charged, with ample minutes loaded
3 - German cell phones, fully charged, with ample minutes loaded
3-4 MiniMe approved movies
iPod, fully charged & loaded with Laze-E approved songs
70's & 80's music CD's, Man & HausFrau approved
umbrellas
antibacterial wet wipes
commissary bags to be reused as trashbags
sunglasses
camera, fully charged, don't forget the memory stick
appropriately packed overnight bag for overnight trips
shoes

Everyone must remember their shoes.

Shoes.

Don't leave home without them.

Shoes.

That actually fit your feet.

Shoes.

Doesn't matter what kind.

Shoes.

Tennis. Ballerina flats. Birks. Thongs Flip flops. MaryJanes.

Shoes.

Socks, optional.

Did I mention that you need to remember shoes? Because should you forget shoes, you might end up one hour away from home on your way to an outdoor festival. With rides. Without shoes. You might even be forced to walk across a very dirty parking lot at a roadside reststop on the way to the loo. Crying, because you really have to pee and you have no shoes. And, crying even harder because it now occurs to you that you can't exactly ride rides with barefeet. You might have to walk to the toilet and back (eeeeewwwww!) with your twinkle toes fully exposed.

You might even have to hysterically cry because of the not riding rides issue. It might be a bigger deal now because you no longer have to pee and can devote all your time & energy into being upset about the rides, not being distracted by a full bladder.

You might even have to listen to your mother rant about how nothing is open on a Sunday in Europe and NO she doesn't have an extra pair of shoes in the glove compartment. Just a fire extinguisher.

Your dad might save the day by driving out of the way to find a PX because those are actually open on Sunday. But, you might also listen to your mother rant about how it's a crapshoot as to whether there will be any shoes that fit, that aren't $40.

You might have to cry some more just to prove how really, really sorry you are for forgetting to put shoes on even though your mother not only reminded you, but specifically told you which shoes to wear.

Your mom might start to chill once she realizes that there are cute shoes that fit you. And they are on clearance. You might even witness your mom do a little frugal happy dance. But you might secretly hope that no one noticed the dance.

You might even get to ride a dumb merry-go-round ride at the fest. But only that one ride because your parents might not want to pay another $3 for you to ride anything else. Especially dumb merry-go-rounds that are preschool sized. Not that there is anything else to ride anyway. Or to eat. Or to drink.

You might even hear your parents talk about how much better fests are in Germany. You might wonder if they will ever stop comparing Belgium to Germany. You might think to yourself probably not.

You might overhear your mom tell your dad that we need to plan a road trip to Germany for an (not the) Oktoberfest.

You might witness your mother pull a notebook out of her purse and begin making a Road Trip Checklist. Your mom might casually mention that shoes need to be included on the checklist.

You might plot & plan how to sneak one of your two new pairs of clearance shoes into the glove compartment. You know, just in case you should ever forget to wear shoes on a road trip again.

Especially to a fest in Germany. Where the rides are cheaper & better. And, where there is face painting. And, beer for dad. And, wine, maybe even federweisser, for mom. And, pretzels. And, bratwurst. And, pommes frites.