Certainly, Not I

Once upon a time there was a HausFrau who was leading a very average HausFrau life. She cooked & cleaned & tended to the children. She wasn't the "perfect HausFrau" and never once proclaimed to be, since she herself doubted the existence of such a creature. She was, however, savvy and did "just enough" to leave the lasting impression that she was really good at all things HausFrau.

Everything was in its place, dinner menus planned, toilets scrubbed & laundry washed, folded and put away. Oprah & Dr. Phil were watched, bon-bons eaten, long bubble baths taken and Chardonnay sipped. Contentment reigned supreme in HausFrau's life until one day . . .

The Man called her up from work & told her about a job, one with a real paycheck, that would soon be up for grabs. This job, the one with a real paycheck, quite intrigued HausFrau. For one, she would be really good at this job & had the necessary experience & education to convince the hiring authorities of this. For two, the job would command a real paycheck, and most everyone knows that money does indeed talk.

That night as the family sat down to dinner, no doubt a delicious home cooked meal prepared with love, the topic of the job popped up. HausFrau wanted to know what the family would think about her possibly applying for, and eventually accepting this job.

The Man, the Laze-E & the MiniMe all thought the job, and the real paycheck, sounded like a great idea to them. Until . . .

HausFrau casually mentioned that a full-time working-mama job would leave a lot less time for her to tend to the Haus & the children & icky toilets. The family all made frowny faces as they pondered how HausFrau's having a real job might affect them.

HausFrau asked of her devoted family,

"On a nightly basis, who will help me sweep the floors?"

Not I, replied the Man.
Not I, replied the Laze-E.
Not me, replied the MiniMe.

"Then I shall sweep them myself," responded HausFrau.

"But, who will help me wash and fold and put away the laundry?"

Not I, said the Man.
Not I, said the Laze-E.
Not me, said the MiniMe.

"Then I shall wash & fold & put away the laundry myself," replied the HausFrau.

"But, who will help me scrub the toilets & shine the sinks?"

Not I, proclaimed the Man.
Not I, proclaimed the Laze-E.
Not me, proclaimed the MiniMe.

"Then I shall scrub and shine them myself," said the HausFrau.

"But, who will help me prepare delicious home cooked meals?"

Not I, answered the Man.
Not I, answered the Laze-E.
Not me, answered the MiniMe.

"Then I shall cook dinner myself," replied the HausFrau.

"But, who will help me eat the scrumptious food?"

Oh, I will! exclaimed the Man.
Oh, I will! exclaimed the Laze-E.
Oh, me too! exclaimed the MiniMe.

"Fine. Then we all shall enjoy a great meal together," responded the HausFrau.

"But, who will help wash up the dishes and swipe off the counters?"

Not I, said the Man.
Not I, said the Laze-E.
Not me, said the MiniMe.

This prompted HausFrau to ask the most important question of the evening,

"So, who wants this job with a real paycheck?"

Not I! answered the HausFrau with the utmost conviction.

Thank Goodness! declared the Man.
Hallelujah! declared the Laze-E.
Sounds good to me! declared the MiniMe.

With that decision made, the family went off to enjoy their evening of TV & Internet as HausFrau gathered the dirty dishes and headed to the kitchen to clean up.

After all, a little dish washing and toilet scrubbing is small price to pay for unlimited Oprah & Phil, bon-bons, bubble baths and Chardonnay.

HausFrau's Moral of the Story: If it ain't broke, don't break it.