Pick Me! Vote for Me!

Pop Quiz Time

Read the following quote and choose the best answer from the choices below:

Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not. It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect. On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was that'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

This quote was said by whom & in what context?

A) Pinocchio when asked to disclose Shrek's location to Charming (Shrek the Third)
B) A Presidential Candidate's response to a question during the first Debate
C) Laze-E when asked if she did her homework & where is it

Last week, I attempted to watch the Presidential Debates, Round One but grew tired of it right after each candidate answered (& I use that term loosely) the first question on foreign policy. Both candidates have superb debate skills & can talk their way around directly answering a question better than either of my children, and that's saying a lot.

Do these people not have time to watch Law & Order or Boston Legal? Just answer the question. That's what the judges & lawyers want from witnesses giving testimony.

And, that's what I want from a debate. Just clearly and concisely answer the question so that I can pick my favorite candidate.

Admittedly, we are just a tad bit out of the loop on every nit-picking detail of the upcoming elections & I'm not one to seek out political information on the Internet. I hear snippets on the TV and read headlines on front pages on the web, but that's about as far as my interest extends when it comes to talking heads giving their opinions & candidates Dog & Pony Showing for the cameras.

I've decided that I am a very middle of the road, non-Democrat, non-Republican & just want public policies in place that will give the most people the best possible. And, that best possible also needs to include fully funding the Department of Defense so that servicemembers can do the job they were tasked to do swiftly and with the fewest casualties possible while their families receive the best support services available.

So, the Debate only bored and frustrated me, but I was really interested in 20/20's Portrait of a President that aired on ABC last week (Part 1) and this week (Part 2). I haven't seen Part 2 yet, but I think it will air on AFN sometime later today. I'm always fascinated about life experiences and paths taken that makes a person who they are today. To me, how you've handled where you've been is a strong indicator as to where you are going. Did a life story help me chose a candidate?

No, but it at least I made it past the first commercial break.

OK, that's about as much political ponderings as you will get from me. Thankfully, huh? Except for an election that hits a little closer to home.

Guess who ran for an 8th Grade Class Office Position and won? That's right, folks. Laze-E Rockin'Bauer is now the 8th Grade Publicity Chair!

I've been told it was a popularity contest. Which is a total news flash to me. Since when did middle school students vote for "names" over the "issues"?

Oh, you might want to watch out. Be careful not to step in my dripping sarcasm.

But, you know what's so darn amusing?

She ran unopposed on an "I'm mostly responsible & will take the time to make the bestest, most creative posters you've ever seen" platform.

So, I still don't know if she's popular or not.

Is she so popular that no one dared to run against her & risk public humiliation of receiving no votes?

Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know.

Or, did no one else want to make posters & she got everyone's (all 20-something kids in the whole 8th grade) sympathy vote?

It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.

Did she actually get all the votes, or were there silent abstainers who left that choice blank?

On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably do or do not know.

I don't know either.

I may as well have been asking Laze-E if she cleaned her room.

Or a Presidential Candidate if he planned on attending the Debate in the first place.