Where in the World?

Grab a box of Kleenx. This is going to be the saddest middle class sob story that you've ever heard.

I can't decide how to "spend" my $2400 in travel vouchers. Yeah, the ones I got for suffering through a first class flight to JFK with the kids in tow. Yes, it was a real inconvenience for me to fly a day later & make a connection in NY versus Chicago.

Whatever.

But should I ever have to testify in court, I might be able to muster a tear as I describe how traumatized we were by fully reclining seats, on-demand movies & real ice cream sundaes for a mid-afternoon snack. With hot fudge. And nuts. On top of the Ben & Jerry's.

Yeah, I'll be crying because I know how the upper echelon get from Point A to Point B. And, they do it without getting pesky cankles as a souvenir.

I have to use the vouchers by the end of March and it's torture deciding where we want to go.

Greece is on the table. But, for a November get-away, the weather might be a bit yucky. Even though I can get a condo for the week for "free" by trading in some RCI points, it might not be the best option.

We want to spend some time in England, but that's too close to 'waste' free airline money. I'm leaning toward trading in points to get a houseboat for a week next spring or summer. Besides, we are taking a daytrip to Canterbury next weekend. It's not London, but I can score some cider and fish & chips. That should tide me over until we can get back up there.

Spain would be a good location, but we can get there cheap with RyanAir for a whole lot less than $2400. Ditto for Rome.

Other places scattered across Europe, well, BTDT. Hey, I told you to grab the tissues. Don't roll your eyes, it might smear your mascara. Or they might get stuck that way.

Of course, I'm only looking at European desitnations since we are practically there anyway. I'm not even sure if we can use the vouchers to fly on American's OneWorld partners. If not, these vouchers must be used to travel back to the States.

Just for kicks I looked up a flight from Brussels to Honolulu. For around $2500 a ticket we could all fly economy. For a mere $7200 a seat, Man and I could sneak up to First Class. Maybe the travel vouchers could cover the cost of the shrimp cocktail appetizers & pre-flight mimosas.

Obviously, Hawaii is off the table. Especially, since one or both girls at various times mention the "C" word.

Get your mind out of the gutter. College. The "C" word is college.

And, they have a nasty habit of wanting to eat several times a day.

I downsized, did a 180 & I checked out flights into Dallas. They are only slightly cheaper than continuing on to Honolulu & I wouldn't get to sip Lava Flows on the beach. I'd have to settle for margaritas at Cheddar's. OK - so that wouldn't be so bad since I never drink alone & my Texas friends are a blast.

But, sorry, girls, it's still way too expensive. I wouldn't be able to afford the margarita. Even during Happy Hour. And, we all know, I don't do Texas without the Cuervo.

I want to use my vouchers and fly somewhere for free. That way I can brag about a totally free flight - I could get a lot of mileage out of that. That would totally trump $1 for new shorts at the Thrift Shop on the Frugalista Scale of Bargains. Free flight is definitely a 5. The shorts might register a 3, depending on the brand.

So, I checked out American's Special Fares page. Since when did $900 for a crappy economy seat become a special fare to fly to JFK? Seriously, if you start in Brussels and fly to New York, that just barely qualifies as a trans-Atlantic flight.

And, on top of not having my free airfare spent, now we have to decide if we want to take a Med cruise over spring break. Several families from here, including the ThongFamily, are going. So, the kids would have playmates built into the itinerary - and an inclusive Kid's Klub. And, you know what that means? Free time for parents. Like maybe we could even have sex a romantic dinner alone while sailing past the southern tip of Italy. Maybe.

But, that cruise sails to Greece, and I don't want to waste my free airfare flying to some place that we may sail to on Royal Caribbean's Brilliance of the Seas. If I can even get to Athens courtesy of American or any of their airline buddies.

The cruise would also pulls Spain, Malta, Cyprus, Tunisia & Egypt off the table too.

I know, it's all very sad and disturbing. The world is our oyster, but I can't figure out how to crack open the darn thing.

Perhaps, I should pop that Pretty Woman VHS into the VCR and take notes. With hot pink paint pen in my blue sprial notebook.